Beginning shadow work - a course in Using the Gifts of our Shadow

So Jennifer and I signed up for our first shadow class, "Use Gifts of our Shadow." This promises to be life changing work -- some of the most powerful you will ever do. This is being taught by Carolyn Winkler and is based on her training with Debbie Ford, and her experience developing "Affirmative Energetics."

Working with our Shadows provides tremendous insight into ourselves and both our overt and hidden traits. The ability to recognize and integrate our Shadows back into our whole selves frees up a whole lot of energy. Recognizing the "gifts" of our shadows allows us to turn them around into our greatest strengths.

Over the next six weeks we are going to uncover some Dark and Light shadows, identify and step outside our Story, realize that the outside world is a simple reflection of our
inside world AND when change the inside, outside changes with it, see that we are all alike, all HUMAN with the same range of emotions and only circumstances make us choose or reject certain ones, learn that when we embrace both the dark and light parts of ourselves we become stronger, whole, and have more energy, and know know that we do not need to get rid of anything but instead integrate and embrace our wholeness and the gifts hidden inside.

I am really looking forward to doing this course together with Jennifer. We have gone through a lot as part of Operation: Hot Couple, and transformed our relationship and marriage. I began reading Debbie Ford's book "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" where she also hit bottom in her life, and from there was able to turn things around. So that gives me a strong sense of relatedness to her work.

I am also confronted by my being so out of touch with my creative side, or at least the perception that I am. Perhaps the Shadow work can allow me to bring that out of the shadow and into the light. Having been the strong left-brain scientist growing up, I feel that I let that part of me die on the vine, considered that it had no value and therefore packed it away. Of course you can never really suppress parts of you, they just go underground, and there they tend to have other unintended consequences.

Day 28 VLCD: My last day on HCG ends with a bang!

Mission: MAC-Possible - All Committee Appreciation Dinner.

Day 24 VLCD: My DJ/Tux from University fits again!

Father/ Daughter Dance at the MAC.

Day 17 VLCD: Skinny jeans are now baggy!

Hit 191 lbs today! And my skinny jeans (36"), which I could not squeeze myself into when we started this (at 240 lbs), are now officially baggy. Jennifer is at 211 lbs today, down 21 lbs, and is looking great.

We had a great Mother's Day. A trip to the Farmer's Market for fresh flowers and strawberries.

And then a quick lunch and off to the Opera. Verdi's Falstaff

Day 10 VLCD: Losing body fat not muscle mass

Broke 200lbs (91kg) on Tuesday 4/30. Not sure that is significant other than being a round number! Certainly a milestone on the way to 185 lbs (84kg) which will put me in the 'normal' weight range for the first time in ~20 years.

This time around I am tracking (www.myfitnesspal.com) some additional measurements in addition to weight. We bought a new scale that has a cool feature that also measure body fat (%), body water (%) and muscle mass (%). What has been interesting this week has been to track these measurements in addition to my weight loss. You will see from the graphs that as my weight has gone down, so has my body fat percentage. Conversely my muscle mass has increased. 

This shows that protocol working in terms of it shifting body fat and not burning muscle. This counters the concern raised by most professionals when you mention Very Low Calorie Diet (VLCD) or fasting diets -- that they simply leads to muscle loss when you place the body in starvation mode.

This is not to say this is not a valid concern. One of the requirements of the protocol is not to do heavy exercise as your body does not have the energy reserves to take on vigorous muscle use. However, we will save that discussion for another day! This process certainly puts the body under caloric stress and 'gently' encourages it to use all the fat it has been storing for a rainy day!'

Day 5 VLCD: Tough first few days of low energy, lethargy

Well into the first week of VLCD and it has been pretty good going. Down 11 lbs (5kg) since the fat loading days. Pretty much the same as before. My experience has been that you see a rapid drop initially (loss of the load weight gain) and then the weight loss settles down to (0.5-1.0 lbs/day). I was struggling a little with low energy and lethargy this week. Not so much with the hunger. I think there is obviously some adjustment from the high calorie fat load days and the prior higher calorie regular diet. Also you need to really ensure that you are hydrating (drink lots of water) so that you are flushing the fat and other junk out of your system. Feeling much better today. Awoke feeling refreshed and awake. Had a great game of doubles squash (extra apple on hand, and fruit bowl and seltzer afterwards). Such a good time with friends, overlooked the time and had rather a late lunch! Ready for Week 2...